Advice for my 21 year old self

One of the suggestions that pops up on many lists of ideas to write about is the interesting thought…What advice would you give your 21 year old self ...If you could have looked ahead when you were 21.

The best advice I would like to give my 21 year old self would be to look ahead, ask yourself, will I still be able to do this at 41, or 51 and maybe not so fit?

I was 18 years old, parents both unwell and divorced, no home to return to if things did not work out from whatever choices I made. Living in a bedsit, I paid £40 per week rent from the grant I received while training as a Nursery Nurse.

College days meant a lengthy bus ride to be at college by 9am and nursery opened at 8am on work placement days. I was rarely home much before 7pm.

It never entered my head as I ate a simple somewhat typical student dinner of something from a tin, or whatever I could fit on my self in the shared fridge in the shared kitchen, that maybe it would be a good idea to think, before I fell into bed, to get up early and do it all again the next day, as I did for nearly 25 years, going to nursery by 8am in the mornings, and often not leaving until 6pm..should I get trained for something else ? Should I get another career on standby? Will always be able to do this? There seemed no panic, I was fit and well and at that time women retired at 60 to draw their pension, it is now 65 and rising.

At 41, I found myself the emotionally and physically shattered victim of domestic violence, trying to get out of an abusive marriage, with severe arthritis and other health problems that would not improve with age …no job, not able to do the one I did, not trained or experienced for anything else, but considered by the Department of work and pensions, intelligent, articulate and able to work, because I could fill in their forms!!...So I was unable to claim disability benefits.

So came the idea that if nobody would give me a job, then I must make myself a job, helping the thousands in similar situations to my own and helping  them by sharing my experiences of being older and looking for a job...or in any way possible and legal…making a living.

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