Personal Power

Job hunters especially fight a daily battle trying to maintain confidence, show and use their personal power to influence hirers and get a job, and while doing so, especially with little money, they can easily forget to take care of themselves and be as positive about themselves as they must present to hirers.

A crucial in the way we influence others is our credibility. As someone once said to me, love is what you do, not what you say and even in the less sentimental world of business, in fact probably more so, we are judged on what we do and performance rather than intentions and what we say ... Our behavior and performance define us.

As the current Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn knows only too well, just being in a powerful position does not in itself give us respect, it does not even mean people will listen and take any notice of us, respect is something we must earn.

I read recently that everyone is born with personal power …I disagree. Many have more than others and many have no power at all. Growing up as the only child of older parents with health issues, low aspirations and limited income, I had no personal power, my immediate future was decided by their circumstances as indeed it is for many children and had been decided for my parents by their family circumstances. I was to leave school and the earliest permitted age and get a job and become self-supporting.

As a student of Social Sciences, studying for a degree with the Open University as a mature student, having been unable to follow the more usual route to university, I have been studying equality and inequality on my current module. An example of personal power and having it or not is the consumer society that many social scientists say we now live in, some are able to participate in this society in a greater way than others. Some have personal power i.e., they have choices about what they buy and use ~ some can choose the places where they buy products and what they buy such as using the farmers market, others have no choice, they are limited to what is available at the food bank and the £1 shops for such items as personal care products while others use designer brands. Personal power is shaped by the effects of our parents and background, our economic status and culture as much if not more than by what we choose to do ourselves. Whether by choice or not we follow the accepted pattern, one influenced by the authority figures in our lives …and this even includes the government who decide much of what our life chances will be according to our social status, and to fit in even if it  is only with what others, e.g. our parents want and need from us, we are often forced to play down our own feelings about what we want our personal power to be.

Over the years many people have been raised to believe that other people have more value or worth. My own mother sat an exam at the age of eleven in 1938 that passing it meant she got a place at the local grammar school, she had to forego this opportunity as her parents could not afford the things that had to be bought to go there …the uniform etc. It must have been very hard on her when many years later I went to the same school, by then a comprehensive, with a relatively more affordable uniform. However, when I came home from that same school, talking about going to university, she physically beat it out of me and accused me of being a lily livered lizard hiding away in school to avoid the real world of work and that I should have had to go to work at age 14 with bombs dropping around me as she did , to give me some backbone …this was to her the best reaction she could think of to make me understand without doubt that I was NOT going to university, but that my parents needed me self-sufficient at the earliest that this could be . I had wanted to be a teacher, instead, as my mother happened to work at the job Centre, I found myself working in a nursery aged seventeen, and the headteacher told me that she actually assumed I was mentally deficient when my mother applied for the job for me ..but decided to interview me anyway !!!

· Self-awareness – Many struggle with finding their voice, especially if they grew up as I did with a parent who repressed it, also the result may be that you have a voice but have never learned how to control it, when to use and not use it. Knowing how to use your voice appropriately gives you the chance to contribute to those around you and to wider society and to make a difference. Few things are worse than a loud-mouthed ignoramus, or someone who gossips simply because that is all they have to talk about. Take time to find yourself and grow your expertise, what are your passions ..do be sure to make one of them listening to other people, do not go on too much about such things as politics and religion and always be attentive to learning from others ..The world is not all about you …
 
Clarity & Empathy – people with personal power are focused, they know what they are capable of and where they are heading. They have goals that are clear, and a plan to achieve them. Another big part of personal power is the ability to empathize. You can influence people more effectively when you can see things from their point of view. People will be more open and honest with you, if they believe you can understand them. Remember, again …it isn’t all about you.

· Self-belief – Contrary to the popular saying …You are not what you eat, but what you believe. Those with well-developed sense of personal power believe in their vision, and they take actions to do all they can to ensure that what they want happens. Change your thinking and reassess the limits you’ve placed on yourself. When you believe in yourself, people find you more credible....as much as you may be having a hard time but still are willing to help others, there is no doubt that people have more confidence in someone whose own life is known to be in order. When I was known to be having a very bad time with health, legal and financial issues when my marriage broke up, I still tried to help and support friends who were e.g. sick ... but one day a dear friend came to visit me and told me that while out in town she had walked in on and overheard a conversation between two people we both knew, and realized it was me they were discussing ~ about how whenever anyone was sick or had a problem, I was always there ..it was not a complimentary conversation and my friend was sadly telling me that they were saying , if she can do that and volunteer at the Labour Party as she does, then she can get a job !!

Voluntary work can be a difficult issue, to do it or not, The Job center if you are registered there and on a compulsory work programme will insist that you have transferable skills and must do voluntary work to get your benefits and to get experience to get a new job. I was in this situation when I had to give up nursery nursing on health grounds. I did voluntary work at the Labour Party and the Citizens advice bureau as I wanted to be a caseworker in welfare rights, housing etc, but employers want people experienced and able to hit the ground running, not unqualified volunteers, also voluntary work does not pay the bills. Sometimes it really is best if you have to make a career change on health grounds, to look for something you can do from home ...and do not discuss it and your situation too much at all until you are successful. Sometimes you just have to know your own truth and not tell it too much to others you meet on your journey. There is a saying that getting a job (or making one) IS your job if you do not have one and there is some truth in this, because you are more credible to others if your own house is in order .

· Energy & Enthusiasm – There is a link between enthusiasm and energy, simply because they feed off of each other. Positive, successful people tend to be filled with energy; enthusiasm is seriously infectious. So, ask yourself this- what are you spreading to the people around you?

· Lead the Way – You don’t need to be in a position of power to be a leader. We are conditioned to believe that we need formal authority to do it, but why wait? You can step into your personal power, claim it and and choose to be a proactive, confident person, start enhancing your personal power today.

Valerie Hartland